Retirement: Where is the Action?
On July 16, 2017, I was the center of a whirl of business activity. I was deluged with meetings, calls, deadlines and all sorts of activities. I had staff, clients and vendors all seeking my attention. On July 17 it all shut down. My volume of activity dropped 80%. Due to a situation with the folks that bought my company, we decided to terminate our relationship immediately.
I was relieved at having the burden of responsibility removed from me. I no longer had to worry about outages at three in the morning, disputes between employees, customer, relations, vendor management, and all the other massive responsibilities that weigh upon someone who is in an executive position. However, it also created a giant void. I was so used to the constant action that I did not know how to deal with the quiet.
I began my career in sales, moved into management, and then decided to start my own company. Throughout my career, I’ve always been at the center of some kind of action. Anyone who’s been in high-pressure technical sales knows that there’s constant activity. This includes stress, anticipation, the joy of closing a deal, the pain of losing a deal and the constant interaction that goes with it. Then I became an entrepreneur and started my own company. This created even more action. The constant excitement and stress of trying to make things happen keeps your adrenaline going at full speed almost all the time. Anyone who has been in sales or a start up feels the anxiety, stress, and exhilaration of business deals, and operations.
Upon reflection, I believe that I became addicted to the action. I define action is all of the activities related to running a business that create the opportunities for failure and success. This action creates a biochemical surge in your brain. My brain became addicted to the adrenaline and all of the other brain chemicals that are released by dealing with action.
Unfortunately, I was not aware of this addiction. I just knew that after my career ended, that there was something missing. I used to joke that the only thing that kept me together was stress, and that if the stress went away, I would explode like a popped balloon. It was truer than I hoped.
The problem with missing the action is that it made me prone to looking for a new source of action. Fortunately, I had enough money that I had alternatives. Therefore, I decided to enter a business that I knew nothing about. What better way to get the stress and anxiety stirred back up again. I told myself that this was a great opportunity, and that I had thought it through with great detail. I basically let cognitive bias create the situation that I wanted.
I decided to flip houses. I became involved with a group of people who said they knew what they were doing. My cognitive bias was ready to believe them. This was an opportunity to make a lot of money, and theoretically not being involved in every aspect. What a mistake.
I ended up building six houses and probably losing money in the end. I had to deal with contractors, crooked partners, material, shortages, and of course the great black Swan of Covid. I definitely found the action.
The action included, trying to save a couple of the projects. One of the lead contractors decided to take a break, start doing a lot of drugs, and using material from the job sites to supply his habit. In the beginning everything was all right, but the situation slowly deteriorated to the point that I had $5000 worth of lumber left out in the middle of the street that needed to be manually carried onto the property. This was due to the contractor's negligence or inability to get up after a night of partying.
In the end, I had to save the project by converting two of the houses into Airbnbs until the value increased to the point that I could recover my money . Once again, I was scrambling to buy furniture, meet the requirements of Airbnb, and basically getting it ready. Fortunately, this worked out very well for me and both were profitable, I sold one and I’m still holding onto the other.
This seems all well and good, but at one point I was in danger of losing hundreds of thousands of dollars. Of course, this fed the action addiction. The interesting part is I really didn’t need the money, I needed the action.
This created a time of reflection. Action takes a lot of time and effort. I had to assume a very energy draining persona. The same persona that I assumed throughout my career. Perhaps it was time to evaluate if this persona was worth the time and energy.
You also have to consider your age. I am fairly healthy, and I am in reasonable shape, but I am still 67. Things do not work as well and your tolerance for unnecessary life noise decreases. Action takes a toll on the body.
Then there is death. I lost my parents, my brother-in-law, my aunt, my business partner and several friends over a ten-year period. I realized that time I spent on action was time I missed with them. I had to ask myself what I would do with my remaining time. You can always make more money. You can never make more time.
Another consideration is a risk. When I was younger, I had time to correct mistakes. You have less time as you get older. I was worried that I would end up in a business deal that would cost me significant money and I would not have the time and energy to recover. The risk fueled the action, but sometimes survival instinct kicks in And causes you to reflect on your actions.
I decided to unwind myself from my action world. This is not easy. I was, as usual, juggling multiple complicated deals. The extrication process was risky and had to be managed carefully. However, my action persona unwound at the rate of which I unwound the action deals. I still have two deals that I am in the process of shutting down. It has taken me three years to disengage three years' worth of post retirement action deals. I still have two deals left to unwind. One is under contract and the other one needs to be put up for sale. Once this is done, I have no more financially risky action deals. I can turn my action down to a minimum.
The temptation never goes away. However, I really do not like assuming my action persona. It requires too much effort. I have it there when I need it, but I don’t need to have it all the time. The issue is how do you deal with the downtime? I found it can be productive and entertaining without having to jump back into action world. This will be the subject for another blog.